Saturday, October 25, 2008


When Kyle and I were planning our wedding we struggled with the tone of the ceremony. While neither of us are involved in organized religion, we realized this was going to be one of the most important days of our lives and we felt compelled to mark the occasion with tradition. Having none of our own, we started researching and found so many amazing traditions from different cultures that we loved-jumping the broom, smashing the glass (though our friend Jonah clued us in that a light bulb makes a better smash moments before the ceremony), having the guests promise to give us their love and support, having my brother help me on with my shoes and having our parents speak on our behalf. The multicultural nature of our wedding kind of got around as we were planning and the day before I left to go to up to the lake house where the wedding would be held, a Mohawk friend of ours gave us an offering he had made for us to put on the porch rail we used as a makeshift altar area. It had tobacco and sweet grass tied in little parcels facing the four directions, and in the center were two sticks tied together. The sticks represented the two of us and the binding represented our relationship soon to be sealed in marriage. The idea was that, each of the sticks alone could bear a certain amount of weight so when put together they should be able to bear double that weight. Something happens, though, when you bind those two sticks together, and they are able to bear more than that. Together, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

The light bulb made an amazing smash and it was nice to have the vocal support of our friends, though we don't see them much anymore. What has stuck with me every day- after the guests went home, after the honeymoon ended, after having a child, moving across the country and starting a business, after scraping by for years so I could stay at home with Henry and then being able to finally buy a home of our own, after losing family members and welcoming new tiny people into our family- the one thing that has stuck with me through all of this is that there is a magic that happens when you are tied to another person that makes you stronger than you would be as two people on their own. And that's what it is all about.

To Griff and Libby... I wish I could be with you on this amazing day! I love you both and wish you the strength to struggle through the bad times and the clarity to appreciate the good times in the moment. You are two of my most favorite people on this planet and together you are unstoppable! Take a deep breath and remember-any small stuff that goes wrong will be forgotten and any big things that go wrong will be great stories later. Enjoy your day! I love you!

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