Bad Mommy Moment #754

Weeeeeeell, yesterday was not my most shining moment as a mama. The scratch in the floor. Well, I'm not sure if you guys remember when Henry scratched up the whole side of the van with a rock, but...I do. And with that in mind, I kind of let Henry have it over the scratch in the floor. I said I knew it was an accident but it was going to be really expensive to fix and Daddy might be mad and he needed to apologize, etc, etc, etc. He told me that I could use the money from his monkey bank to fix the floor. Jeez. It killed me. So after all of this, Henry met Kyle at the door when he got home to show him what he did.

Kyle did it.

Kyle did it stepping on the jack in the box the night before and just didn't realize it until he saw it in the light. He said that the scratch was so deep there was no way Henry would be able to do it. AHHHHHH! So I had to sit Henry down and apologize (even though he told me he and McKai did do it for some reason, I think he just wanted to say sorry so I wouldn't be mad anymore-poor kid) and I felt like ass all night. Henry couldn't care less. I sat him down and tried to do this big long heartfelt thing and he was like "Cool mama, can I play with my cars now". Man. Bad mama.

I also had a Bad Knitter Moment #30096746. I was down in the basement playing with the Bond machine knitting a little bag. I was moving right along, listening to Rufus Wainwright on my IPod, singing along with Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk happy as a clam when it all went wrong. I felt a tug and realized that in my zeal I had managed to knit the cord of my earphones into the bag. Oops. So I had to take the whole thing off and start over (I'm not good enough at the machine to fix mistakes yet, it is pretty much all or nothing). Leave it to me to make that kind of mistake. Though I guess it would be an interesting piece...

I also got a bug in my undies last night about the fastest knitter in the world. I was talking to Robert from Mahar a while back and he said that one of his crocheters had won a blue ribbon at a local fair for having "The Fastest Fingers in the West". Immediately, my heart (and fingers) yearned for my very own blue ribbon. Last night I finally got around to looking up what the actual world record is. The first one I read was 180 stitches in 3 minutes using DK weight yarn and size 8 needles. Just for giggles I made Kyle set an on line stop watch and time me. I did it twice and the best out of the two was 161 stitches in 3 minutes. Not too bad. Then I read an updated record of 111 stitches in ONE MINUTE! Are you kidding me???? I knit pretty damn fast and that is almost 3 times as fast as I am. I suddenly heard the Rocky theme song in my head and had visions of the training involved for such a record. One fingered push ups? Breakfasts of raw eggs and a pinch of Alpaca? Breaking 2x4s into splinters using nothing but a set of size 7 12" Addi Turbo circulars? The World Finals in speed knitting are at The Mall of America in Minnesota in 2008. Hmmmm...

In Crankypants news, all Etsy packages went out today and Mahar orders are on their way to Santa Monica. If you live in the SoCal area, stop by Felt Club XL on Sunday in LA and see Robert at the Mahar Dry Goods booth. And then send me an email and tell me all about it so I can live vicariously through you. I am insanely jealous of everyone who gets to go. Oh yeah...Crankypants... I have 2 orders to go. I am down to the bright green lips on Nicki's monster longies and then only Mandy's rainbow Jolly Rogers remain. YeeHaw!